Elma Russell Helms
Mom was one of nine children, middle of the bunch, raised in the sand hills of North Carolina. As her older brothers and sisters went off to work the fields with Grandpa, mom stayed home to help Grandma with the house, cooking, and taking care of her younger brothers and sister. There was always someone else living with Grandma and Grandpa, a relative down on their luck, a neighbor who needed a helping hand. It was a family of helpers and givers.
This is how my mom lived her life. The door to our house was always open and there were many times we had an aunt or an uncle, a cousin or an entire family staying with us until they got back on their feet. Mama, and Daddy, always helped those who needed it. She taught me, and my brothers and sister, to be givers, to be helpers. She gave of her time gladly be it in church, home or community.
Mom was not diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease. She had non-Alzheimer’s dementia. It took away her short term memory. She no longer could do the things she so loved to do. We watched as she slowly gave up all the things she enjoyed the most. She no longer read or worked her crossword puzzles, as she found she had to go back and start her book again, and became frustrated with her puzzles, as words that had come easily to her no longer did. She began to live in the past.
She could tell us stories of growing up on the farm, name all the people in 70 year old pictures, and remember every verse to every hymn ever written, but on a visit to see her, she rode all the way home from the airport with me sitting beside her in the backseat, and didn’t know who I was!
Throughout it all, she remained her wonderful, sweet self. She knew something wasn’t “quite right”, and could often be heard to say “I don’t know what has happened to my memory! I just can’t remember things like I used to!” On my visits with her we would sit together holding hands, talking about days gone by, looking at old photos and listening to her sweet, clear voice sing songs from my childhood.
Mama raised four kids. My Dad traveled and she held down the home front. She cleaned, cooked, sewed, made sure everyone was out of the house on time, babysat neighbors and cousins children, her own grandchildren and always had time to help anyone who needed help. If was often said that the church doors could not be unlocked unless Mama was in her seat, and she was there till the end!
She is missed! Her legacy was her family, and she would be proud to see what her grandchildren have accomplished and meet and love those five great grandchildren that have arrived since her death. She taught us well – give, help, love.
Jan Atkins
Daughter
In thanksgiving for Mama