Tom Rude

Liz Rude

Liz wears Zel’s necklace
in honor of her husband
Tom Rude. Zel’s earrings
are on the necklace.

I met Liz Rude and her husband Tom through our church. Personable and gregarious, Tom was always a strong presence in the congregation. His early diagnosis of Alzheimer’s was a shock and we all felt his loss deeply. Ever since I mentioned this project to Liz, she has been one of my biggest supporters. I feel it is only fitting to start this project with Liz honoring her husband Tom.

Tom Rude

Tom Rude

My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease when he was 55 years old and died when he was 60. We had been married nearly 33 years when he died and our sons were 25 and 28. Tom was the most likeable person I have ever met. Tom’s employer of more than 35 years “eliminated his position” when he began to forget things and then fought giving him disability. Those facts can’t possibly describe the amount of pain and loss I still feel when I think about losing Tom four years ago. He was kind and good with a wonderful sense of humor and was a warm loving person. It still amazes me that such a strong and good person could suddenly be diagnosed with one of the worst possible diagnoses and our lives could change so quickly. Tom lost a beloved job and then just kept losing more and more until nearly 5 years after his diagnosis he lay unmoving in a hospital bed having forgotten how to speak, eat, drink, and breathe. Even when he did not know my name, he remained loving and sweet and I miss him every day.

I still find it hard to believe that there is no cure for this disease that is the sixth- leading cause of death in the United States and the only cause of death among the top 10 in the United States that cannot be prevented, cured or even slowed. There are 5.4 million Americans living with Alzheimer’s disease. Alzheimer’s disease is such a powerful enemy but many Americans remain rather oblivious to these facts or perhaps just prefer not to think about it. When Tom died, I was amazed at the number of people didn’t know that 60-year-old physically healthy people like Tom do die of the disease.

Tom left his baseball cards and Zella left her costume jewelry, reminders of people who were loving, important and valuable and who had a passion for life. I feel that they were stolen from us and I will always wish I could defeat this enemy called Alzheimer’s disease.”

– Liz Rude

Tom and Liz Rude’s granddaughter Maya.

 

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